i know the PERFECT word that describes me. NUMB. and i know the perfect anthem which suits my life to a T. "NUMB". i had to follow mom to meet my granduncle, that is, her uncle at the stupid high tea coffee house shit thing at goodwood park hotel. where i ate some cakes. yes CAKES. from the DESSERT section. i mean so what if they were tiny little pieces? the fact is, I STILL ATE THEM. i HATE MYSELF. i hate that she had to pick some stupid high tea buffet place to meet granduncle. why couldnt she have suggested some ala carte place for gods sake? but the biggest culprit in the picture is of course myself. WHY DID I HAVE TO EAT FROM THE DESSERT SECTION??? WHY??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not that they had salad or anything. i was bent on eating that before entering. bloody shit i have committed a sin. anyway. i can hear my mother crying on the phone. probably complaining to someone about her damn failure of a daughter. LOOK IM SORRY MOTHER. IM SORRY THAT I HATE MY LIFE AND MYSELF SO MUCH THAT ITS HURTING YOU TOO. IM SORRY I CANT BE THE PERSON THAT I WAS IN THE PAST. OKAY?????????????? im sorry, everyone. when will all this end? only when my life is over????
