ugh. what a crappy day. everytime i look down, i start to feel dizzy. what is WRONG with me! its the first day of the new year. some guests have come. my appetite is small today. GOOD. so i wont overeat and stuff myself with rubbish cookies. good good. maybe what they say on the back of the bottle is actually true. that they suppress appetite. good good. may this keep up. i feel so fat today. i dont dare to weigh myself anymore. because if the scale even so much as touches 39 i swear im gonna blow my brains out with a..bazooka. see my pathetico life. my parents dont understand me. and i dont blame them. its not as if im dying to spill my guts and pour my heart out to them. like oh please, AS IF they're going to understand. as if ANYONE who's not going through the same ordeal is going to understand. HA HA. this is what i have turned my life into. a living hell. has anyone heard 'runaway love' by ludacris and mary j blige? --"forced to think that hell is a place called home". in my case, hell is an experience called life. sure, some of you are going to think, what is this girl doig, wallowing in self pity? there are lots more unfortunate people in this world who have no food to eat, no clothes to wear, no place to sleep. but here's a reality check. what constitutes pain is subjective.
