she's sick of me. i just know she is. she's sick of listening to my damned sob stories all the time, she just doesnt reply anymore. she used to send words of comfort whenever i sent distress smses to her. now she just plains ignores it and only msges me if she wants to ask me something. FINE. like im so bloody desperate for her sympathy. she probably thinks its just another one of my 'episodes'. yet another 'relapse' and that ill get over it in time to come, so like, oh why bother? waste my sms only. yeah, thats alright, go ahead, dismiss it as Just Another Phase in Life. just you wait until something happens. and im half hoping something does. i was way pissed that day. anyway i feel like a bloody fatass again. make that all the time. and whats worse, its CNY period. that means more cookies. a.k.a. tubs and tubs of evil, fatfilled pastry. that means ill become even fatter. and this blog is just going to get more depressing. and the people who are still reading this will find themselves wasting their time. have you ever got to that point in your life where you feel like its not worth living? like, oh screw the traffic light. so what if the fricking van hits me? its not as if anyone's going to mourn. nobody's life is going to be disrupted due to the loss of one. you know? like, for gods sake, i dont even like my life. i hate everything about it. i hate everything about me. im just alive because nothing's killed me yet. gosh this is so morbid. no wonder i dont find supposedly gory movies gory anymore.
