i think he's in love. but anyway..it's really none of my business, is it..i just wish i didnt feel so queasy bloody hell. haha.

ANYWAY. its friday, 1250am. but i suppose the heading's already served its puporse in telling you that. haha..its EXAMS next week!! hope all our exams are in the hall! =p with air con..haha..oh my god have you read wednesday's papers? they made that girl blogger remove all those remarks she made about her teacher from her blog! and oh please she just called her a spinster who had something against attractive girls or whatever. haha. so it isnt nice to hear stuff like that about you on your student's blog, but STILL! you cant make everyone like you. and BESIDES, its her damned BLOG!! are they gonna censor what she can and cant write it in as well? its stupid. if i were impulsive enough, i'd write a sample 'defamation entry' and see what happens to me.

haha..have i ever writtten anything bad about anyone? i think i have..have i? haha..i dont know. oh you know what? i think she doesnt like me. i mean, its not like she explicitly told me or anything, but things like this, you can just tell. liying was poking at my hipbone in the audi after bio yesterday. haha. was it bio? i forgot. you have just witnessed the effects of short term memory.

i think my tone feels different today. it gives this entry an entirely different atmosphere from the previous lalala entries. i feel so..calm today. you could tell me all my lecture notes have gone missing or all my tutorials had mysteriously landed themselves in an inescapable inferno and i'd probably smile and say, 'these things happen.' i wish the first paper on monday were bio instead of gp!! what if i get my skills (if any at all) mixed up and write an intro, body and conclusion for my bio essay? haha. or worse still, i summarise the main points for bio and end up submitting one-liners for 10 marks.

oh cooooool franz ferdinand in blasting my room down. FF rocks, yes? i wish that queasy feeling would go away and leave me alone! it is not a pleasant experience trying to type a blog entry while your stomach is doing cartwheels and backflips. i rememebr doing cartwheels in primary school =D phyllis taught me in primary 3..haha..phyllis. wonder she is now!

oh my GOD i just realised that day, weikang is in AJ too..haha!! in class 19. im dying to ask if he recognises me! he's in my CDP group too. our group only has 3 guys, including bobby and the 2 guys from 19. thats really..unfortunate on the guys' part =p i mean, -I- feel bad for them.. hahaha.. not that we're cold, unfriendly beasts of course. we always welcome a nice guy. =p that just sounds wrong.

i was on the same bus as terence and jian hao (i hope thats his name! =p) yesterday on the way home, and i was planning on tapping JH's shoulder to say bye, cuz i was sitting between him and the back door, and i figured he didnt have extra eyes fixed to the back of his head to see me alighting. and to my surprise, he actually turned back to wave first! haha. that was nice,at least i didnt have to wobble precariously over to the front and risk falling flat on my face and subjecting myself and generations after me to an eternity of ridicule. oh, what am i saying..my balance isnt non existent. haha..mr chua is funny. he asked me why im still online at this ungodly, unearthly hour when i should be asleep and ready for 'war' =p haha..imagine going into the exam hall in full battle gear, complete with shield, spear and for the modern warrior, pepper spray. haha. someone on the radio just smsed and said one of her irrational fears was if the toilet bowl collapsed when she was sitting on it. irrational, indeed. puh LEEZ. i reckon she can pick herself off the ground and go pee at another.

oh moaaaaan. exams are coming in a week's time, and my math is in dire straits. i hope i will be hit by sparks of brilliance, sparkly enough to pull me through the exams. haha..oh THE MAGNETS came yesterday!! they're this acapella group and in case u havent heard of them, they're in yesterday's (friday's) newpaper. they came to sing during mass civics! it was SO cool!! their vocals are strong, the beatboxing was FANTASTIC, and they complemented one another really well. AND they've sung for the queen!! everyone was gushing over the beatboxer guy..haha..ting ting, liying, joan and me went to take a photo with the bassist!! he was totally friendly and when i asked him if we could take a photo, he said, yes you can! cool huh! joan wanted to take a photo with andy frost, mr cool-hair-goodlooking dude-beatboxes-till-he-runs-out-of-saliva. but he was surrounded by so many people! and we were already half an hour late for chinese class. haha..we figured the teacher would understand. and she did! she just went 'ni men qu na autograph ah?' and i told her 'wo men qu pai zhao!' haha..there werent muffins, so me and joan couldnt uphold the tradition of bringing brown bags containing food to class. haha..the cafe in class rocks! the only thing which doesnt rock is its location =p technically, it IS sandwiched between both toilets. haha..but that hasnt stopped business from soaring. the muffins are always sold out!! even though they're so oiley..haha..but they're like Ideal Muffins. crisp on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. =D

DARN! no time to paragraph!! gotta go have dinner now. =p byebye!! and ill blog soon! like, after promos =p like, 3rd october. haha..

oh my god, they're molluscs, arent they?

AHHHHH!!! how dumb i have been all this while not to notice that the colour tools were HERE!! thank you, joan, for curing me of my cock-eyeness. haha. we did the chem quiz together in the library so that 2 brains can work at the same time, so that we can get full marks for it. haha! well, THEY gave us the second chance =p although i must say, i really need those few precious bonus marks. i think im going to cry. my stupid timetable sucks..

what the stupid timetable says:

day 1- gp (3 hours, for crying out loud) and then bio
day 2- math and econ essay
day 3- chem and chinese
day EIGHT (yes, after FOUR days of break)- econ paper 1 and 2.

THREE horrendous days of double papers..what is the world coming to?? what was the timetable committee or whoever is the mastermind behind this genius timetable thinking??!! im so glad for this fonted, coloured new entry =p ooh, we went to causeway point for something today. haha..i hope i dont reveal anything. oh what the hell. i am SO not in the mood to type today. my fingers have acquired lives of their own, brains of their own, they are no longer controlled by the brain in my head, which is currently facing the threat of shutting down before exams.

i think i shall publish this now. its 1250am, but im not sleepy. pastamania is nice when ure hungry. haha..thaimun's carbonera kept getting attacked by us. i think the white wine one is nice! i ate carbonera once i think, or another one of those impossibly creamy ones and i got sick after half had been eaten. haha. its nice on the initial few bites, but not for a whole dish. i ate mussels and clams. i think big mussels look scary. i was examining it and thinking, THIS is a living thing?? maybe i should read up on the mode of life of a crustacean. is that what they're called? no, i think theres another name for it. but i forgot what it is. im typing aimlessly. im not even in the mood to be literary today. all simple english. all short sentences. like. this. one. well, technically theyre not even sentences, cuz there isnt like a subject and a verb or whatever. i WILL publish this NOW. *clicks publish post*

gosh, what the jadedness of work can do an otherwise completely sane mind. haha..this morning, i was reading my chemmy notes and then i thought, hey! my pillowcase looks pretty crumpled! and so i took it upon myself to iron it, its fascinating how heat can remove creases. it made me think of alpha helices and hydrogen bonds and stuff..haha..it feels really weird talking to him now..i feel so distant from him. i feel like im talking to someone i just knew. its like, i dont know what to say to him. and he sounds i dunno, sianish most of the time. maybe he doesnt like talking to me or something..i dont know..i mean, he's probably happier talking with other people..i dont come online very often, so i dont see him very often either, but i just thought i'd say hello today. i think its like, the first time in a very very long time since ive talked to him online. and it lasted such a short time too, cuz he had to go. and its like, so much has happened and all that, that it has rendered me uncertain of what to say in his presence. sounds stupid right..i mean, i bet he doesnt even feel the same way..haha..okay..this isnt good..how come im still feeling like this after all this time? got to go..dinner's ready.

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what do the above frowny faces suggest about my mood at present? yes, that of gloom, depression and crestfallen-ness/crestfallen-ism/crestfallen-tion. haha. somebody PLEASE teach me to deco my blog! joan taught me, but due to a slight micommunication, i received some anime song from her instead. haha..let me guess, is it something from inuyasha? its really funny when i offend her favourite characters. haha..i called the guy lord sushimaru yesterday and she was all, HOW CAN U SAY THAT?! haha..so funny. she also said she and my 'mom' would kill me. incidentally, my mom happens to be jessica and we are part of the stone family. haha. now, before you think, what is she, in playschool?? let me explain the origin of the Stone Family. =D

1. jessica likes to stone. she is an ardent fan of unproductive leisure activities such as you guessed it, Stoning. she is also a possible and likely contender for president and founder of the Stone Club. THEREFORE, we came to the conclusion that the most appropriate name for her would be.. Stone Girl =) short, simple and direct. what more could anyone ask for in a name?

2. jessica and bobby are usually together, probably having highly intellectual conversations about math or chem or bio which is so profound, noone else understands a word they're saying..haha..or about murthabhaks (which appears to be bobby's number one choice of food) OR anime (jessica and joan's preferred choice of conversation topic) OR a combination of both (bollywood anime?) haha. so then we called bobby Stone boy, as he complements Stone girl.

HEYYYYYYYY everyone in my contact list is either away or 'out to lunch' even though technically, its dinner time or busy or something. nobody will talk to me =( *gasp* maybe they all changed their status when i came online! haha..hmmmm..something quite unexpected happened today..i wonder if the piano tuner is coming tml,the middle C is loose and i cant play it! and many many many songs that i have have middle C in them. sometimes i really wanna continue lessons but then i think id probably be too lazy to do my theory homework and all that..and practising new songs, especially when i dont even like the melody! oh WELL guess i just have to be stuck at this low level, forever plagued by lack of competence and skill =(

oh my god, im so sorry ivan, i almost forgot your blog addy =p joan asked me yestedray for it, and i told her complete-insanity..haha..i knew there was a hyphen!! but anyway, i was close wasnt i?? complete, total. total, complete. heck, there's no difference!! hahaa..but not to worry, i rememebred it when i was bathing this morning and i have even tagged it! after an eternity of absence. haha..

i wish michael thurman were my personal friend!! haha..i mean, just look at all those bodies he's tranformed on extreme makeover!! he can perform miracles, that guy can. all that toning and healthy eating and what not. =p i vaguely rememebr having already expressed this in a past entry.

OH MY GOD i suddenly remember that im supposed to print out the written report!! oh my god oh my god, i hope i didnt accidentally delete something from fioni by mistake. haha..can u imagine if i didnt print out the WR? boy, i sure cant. i think my group members will take turns skinning a portion of me each.

haha..i just did the bonus 5% chem quiz thing BUT I GOT 2 WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! =( haha..DAMN!! i didnt go out to study today..i didnt feel like going out anyway. hey winnie the pooh bear came to meet us yesteray!! =D wonder if he has already figured out the mystery which surrounds Red Cloud Mountain. haha..=p in the end he thought we were playing a stupid trick on him and that RCM didnt really exist. what a thing to say, winnie! denying the existence of your loved one. haha. we have a new name for him too!! KANTANG BEAR!! haha..i forgot why though. its either cuz we were eating potato wedges or cuz he looked like a potato or cuz he had a potato brain or something.

i remember talking about mr potatohead to them. i had this email addy in p6, it was icecreamsoda@mr-potatohead.com. haha.. yeah, it was one of those pick your own domain name site thingies. they were really cooL! come to think of it, i remember all the email addys i used to have! the VERY FIRST one was peppermint_van@hotmail.com. *tears* oh, it brings back memories of my YZPS days. haha..then the potatohead one and then it was questionmark@white-star.com and then the next and current one was the isohatemath one =p cuz i REALLY REALLY hated math then. i got a disgusting B for it, how could i not hate it?

haha..i used to think hotmail was totally common and like, everyone had it, so it was kinda boring having the same thing as everyone else did. haha..mr potatohead was coooool =p and yesterday, four of us shared that one little cafe table!! the surface area of table per capita was..infinitesimal. then the cafe lady came over and asked us if we wanted a drink and "you understand that this is a cafe right?" and winnie was like, 'not thirsty'..haha..she practically forced us to buy the drink..haha..i mean, she might as well have robbed us of our wallets there and then.

anyway..got to eat fish and chips (which were acutally fat little wedges) yesterday!! i just LOVE the baby carrots!! =D and yesterday's supply of baby carrots really WERE baby. they were so tiny, they could fit through the gaps in my fork! i liked the crispy fish. all crunchy and tender and juicy and worth salivating over. if we had to have lunch in that library for a whole week, i'd go broke buying food. ivan spent $8 on 2 drinks! haha.

im quite proud of myself today! did 1 essay and a DRQ and studied bonding and energetics for the chem quiz. i actually wanted to blog yesterday but my conscience got the better of me and so i refrained from turning on the computer.

haha..my didi is so sweet! =) he still remembers me sometimes and sends a goodnight msg, but usually im already asleep. haha..i didnt get to see him that day when we went back for teachers day thingy! he said 4T1 was sitting at the front row, but i didnt notice him. and then he called and said he was going to PS too, cuz me and the other e1 girls were there, but i didnt see him in the end anyway.. haha.. sometimes i realise how me and my didi are so alike. we have the same birthday. plus, he's an only child too..and he lives nearby. if i cant have a real brother, an assumed one would do just fine =p tonight im going to study biomolecules! *tries to get herself all psyched about studying bio*

im thirsty.

this song is cool..

Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

OH GOD i just came back from tuition. it is completely inhumane, asking someone to sit through 3 and a freaking half hours on the same chair at the same table facing the same direction. i was positively DYING. i told justin that i was yawning so much, my mouth seemed set on assuming the o-shape for the rest of my life. it was time to go and yet he asked me to do another question and another and another!! i was SO pissed i had to bite my lip to calm myself down. if that makes any sense.

haha..anyway, it was FINALLY over and i was so happy and relieved, i got down on my knees to thank the stars and swear upon my life to sleep at least a full hour before going to tuition next time so that i will not have to shove toothpicks up my eyes to keep them open. okay, no, that was a fake scenario, but trust me, similar thoughts were running through my mind. before coming online, my mom told me not to go to chatlines. im like, mother, i do not go to chatlines (anymore). im not desperate for company. i have many friends, f.y.i. haha. i hope thats is true =p

oooh justin gave me the safety pin earring thingy!! thaaaaaank you justeeeen =D its on my left ear hole now. to be safe, i put it in the oldest ear hole, the one i pierced in k2 (thats like a million years ago! haha), in case the new ones got like, infected or something and then id have to subject them to euthanasia again. just how many holes ive pulled the plug on, i cant rememeber!! too many, sadly =(

haha..just talked to mr chua online! he says if i dream of an ionic question, i can msg him to ask =p hahaha..i will =) not dream of the ionic question, ASK. haha..i just promised him that i would dream of ionic bonding =p come to think of it, ive never had dreams about my studies before. OH BUT I HAVE!!!! the day beore PSLE results were released, i dreamt i got 122 =( boy, that was one hell of a nightmare. i mean, thats like a fail. anyway, im glad that wasnt a premonition. haha.

im taking a super long time to write this!! cuz i keep getting distracted by conversations and all. haha..fioni says im easily distracted. actually, huey eng says that too. hahaha. we were doing PW in the library today, and like, i dunno, its just interesting to notice what other people are doing you know? not out of keypohness, mind you. we wanted to eat fish and chips today again!! but who knew the queue would be so intimidatingly long, and BESIDES, they werent having offer, so we packed up to go to..KFC! where i ate a very tiny, very unfilling but very tasty shrooms burger =p i mean, it could fit into MY palm! i could squash it like a fly! too bad its so small and it finished so quickly. haha..good things come in small packages.

theres econ extra lesson on monday and its gonna be FOUR HOURS long. a colossal challenge, i must say. i mean, sitting for 3 and a half hours and im already giving an arm and a leg to go home, not to mention FOUR hours. what cheers me up is that ivan, huey eng, corrina and i are gonna study at the library after that! =) haha..something to look forward to. and not forgetting the all important fish and chips meal awaiting our arrival. okaaaaay..guess im gonna sleep now =) 'our father', mr chua is studying right now and hes hopeful that i will do the same =p haha..sorry dad!! the bed is all set, poised to take on an extra weight equivalent to mine =p so..tata =)