this is funny. a minute ago, my fingers would have flown across the keyboard, but now that i've come to the 'new entry' page, i feel at a lost for words. there's so much to say but it's all so hard to put into words. know what i mean. everyone thinks i've 'moved on'. but i dont think i have, completely. not a hundred percent. who am i kidding? not even 90 percent. a little known fact. not too long ago, i was thinking a lot about him, and us and like, what we used to do together, what he used to say, how we used to have fun..and how my hand used to fit into his..i dont know why, and i wish these things dont hit me suddenly like they do. i dont even know if ure reading this..but i guess it doesnt matter. the other night i was talking to him online and i just really felt, at that moment, that i missed him. i nearly told him. but thanks to the circumstances, refrained from committing such a folly. incidentally i just read your blog. incidentally i feel SAD when i think about us. incidentally, i didnt think you knew that. incidentally i feel a right twerp for saying all this. because really, what would it change? Nothing. note the capital N. its just that its pre-dinnertime now, i had time to go online and blog and after reading ur blog, i got SAD again. thats right. is that ALL im good for? was i put on this earth for the sole purpose of getting sad? incidentally, i was wondering how many more incidentallys im going to include. reminds me of miss chan. back to the issue. what told me so..who the hell said he was better than you. and who the hell said anything was going to develop. frankly i have no idea why im even writing this shit. okay, so its not shit. i only feel its shit because i feel shitty. so virtually everything around me is shit. i am surrounded by dung. immersed in manure. oh thats gross, im grossing myself out.
